I’m so nervous about the 5k tomorrow that I’ve been having an upset stomach for days. I’m no where near as ready as I had hoped to be. I’ve hardly been running, and the few times I did I told myself,”it’s ok, you have lots of time, 1.8 miles is good enough”. And to top it off the last two weeks I haven’t even really done a workout at all. I’ve done little baby workouts, always planning to really hit it hard tomorrow. We had to turn off the YMCA membership and I’ve proven that without a class to go to, I’m useless.
Well dudes, if they are giving out medals for procrastination and going really slow than I’m a sure thing! All day I’ve been thinking things that cause me to suddenly panic, run to the computer, and google things like , “5k time limit” and “slowest 5k ever”. Trying to decide if I can take the humiliation of being last, of finishing after every one has given up hope and gone home. What would be worse, completing the slowest 5k ever in shame or not showing up at all and wallowing in my own self pity privately? I mean it’s not like there will never be another 5k, but there won’t be another one before my Birthday. What to do?!
My faded workout clothes and ‘wrong’ shoes are sitting out all ready to go. We’ve been through a lot of sweaty workouts and injuries and overall had a pretty good time since I ‘started’ in May. I keep thinking of this motivational saying from the YMCA, “If you’re tired of starting over, stop quitting”.
I know that if I get up and go tomorrow, no matter the outcome, I will feel happy and proud of myself for at least jumping one hurdle. Trying not to be too hard on myself for not running more. I do have injuries and this is just a day in my life. As long as each day drives me a little but closer to my goals than that day is a success. I know that failing to meet my expectations will eat me up and I don’t want to let that derail me from a path that is so good for me. Sorry for the self pep talk, but I need it today, I really do.